gd and bad.... but still blog....

Wow... lots of things happen.... I do not know how to show my appreciation.....but the only things I can say... is.. with them around it make my life joyful.... First .... this year I had a great Christmas... I do not know why I have this feeling I enjoy every single moment that we have... together....even this year Christmas... is a bit funny I did not go for a drink..... ended up in Sizziling stone grill and Banafee... but it was really a great time... for me.... I am not sure what... they think as for me... I am happy that's all I know..... But this Christmas...as usual... I went to Orchard Road to look at the... decoration and lighting...... but it really make me disappointed.... because the lighting this year was a failure.... wahaha but anyway... it is different.... because I had a great... company..... so it did not affect my...mood.... say the truth..... for the past... few years... i never ever like to... have Christmas ..... but this year round... I did something dumb... during Christmas.... even me myself do not know the reason....and why... I can make such things... walau... but anywhere... what ever it is... the things... I have said in the car it is 90% comfirm...... already.... so now I just also leave it.... super natural...but I still wanna say that... no matter what... thanks for spending the Christmas.... with me... thanks Lax Didi and Jocelyn Jie Jie ....

Haiz... finish the happy things .... now going in too the sucks part.... what ever it is.. this few day really lots of things.. happen ..... I could not handle it... already.... I have been sitting down at the place for the whole morning... Nothing I have done beside crying and crying... and walk the whole bloody road.... alone... under the rain.... that's all I do... but thanks god that... i get the answer... If not i guess that you all will not be reading this blog..... I may be gone or disappear... for the time being I guess..... I still can stand it... but... the matter is how long I can stand... anyway... just see how..... but there is one question... no matter how.. I seek for the answer I can never ever get the answer... I was wondering that... people ask me please help me to take care people for them... but I was thinking who is the one who can take care of me... my everything I can tell who..... ? the answer is.. no one... and the answer is... a question mark.... anyway never mind... I am ok... because... my greatest wish is.. as long as the people around me happy... I am happy..... one thing I need to say is..... as long as I know that you guys are happy I can live without any worry....whatever it is..... my problem no one can ever ever solve it... because... even me myself... also don't know how to solve it... what ever it is.... my questions .... can never ever... get the answer... maybe just still got to wait..... or what.... I am not sure... I just leave it to the god to decide for me... now... I was wondering... how can I have this type of ability... to not sleep and not eat... haha... maybe I am also testing my limitation... on all this things... But one things... I am glad I have over come this..... there is more things i feel like saying but... it is really to long... to type anyway forget it.... God... when can you give me an answer... for my part....