Lots of things in my mind.....

I am wondering.... what am I doing and what I suppose to do actually.... sometimes... I just hope that... I am able to know what is on mind... and what is on heart... haiz again n again....maybe i am just nobody.....cause i am just like the tiny little.....person throughout the million.......thats y my existence is only exist when throughout the million u capture me suddenly....maybe i think to highly of myself......because till now i can never ever.....hv a place that is meant to be just for me......even just a little....


sometime just feel that maybe from the beginning i do not exist....or i shd say i am just nothing.....thats y never ever hv place....in heart or mind.....now  i really do not dare to make any judgement.....or any choice.....because....i really scared....that i would fail....n the most important thing is i scared i might lost it....too.....seriously......i am in a T～junction now....no matter which road i choose i will still be wrong......but the only thing i can say is.....the power was so strong just a word.....or a sentence.....it can make me do anything without having a thought.....maybe you don't remember....but every little....part....it mean to me.... 


 if i have a chance....i hope that i am able to show you one thing.....just one thing.....but i do not hv the courage to do so..... maybe i am the biggest fool in this world....cause i want to ask but i don't even dare to do so.....i only could just.....silently do everything...and try to make everything perfect....try to make happy...and what ever i could do.....just for one purpose....just want you to be happy thats all.....nothing much i ask for....it may sound stupid but i really mean it..... when ever see u smile....i just feel damm happy..... anyway just one thing....i really hope that....i could just shout it out loud.....once for all and close this topic....and keep it safely in my heart....forever....n continue....with what i think is best....and do the best for it.....and just remain it till the day i got the answer then i will plan what to do.....


for now...i am only able to continue.....predict and seek for the answer.....anyway when the times come it will come.....and if it really come i don't think i can run......and i also feel like shout out loud how much i miss....and how much i care towards the sea....n hope the sea would bring my msg to you......cause i do not dare to tell or msg to someone....that i really really care......♥