Lots of things in my mind.....

I am wondering.... what am I doing and what I suppose to do actually.... sometimes... I just hope that... I am able to know what is on mind... and what is on heart... haiz again n again....maybe i am just nobody.....cause i am just like the tiny little.....person throughout the million.......thats y my existence is only exist when throughout the million u capture me suddenly....maybe i think to highly of myself......because till now i can never ever.....hv a place that is meant to be just for me......even just a little....


sometime just feel that maybe from the beginning i do not exist....or i shd say i am just nothing.....thats y never ever hv place....in heart or mind.....now  i really do not dare to make any judgement.....or any choice.....because....i really scared....that i would fail....n the most important thing is i scared i might lost it....too.....seriously......i am in a T～junction now....no matter which road i choose i will still be wrong......but the only thing i can say is.....the power was so strong just a word.....or a sentence.....it can make me do anything without having a thought.....maybe you don't remember....but every little....part....it mean to me.... 


 if i have a chance....i hope that i am able to show you one thing.....just one thing.....but i do not hv the courage to do so..... maybe i am the biggest fool in this world....cause i want to ask but i don't even dare to do so.....i only could just.....silently do everything...and try to make everything perfect....try to make happy...and what ever i could do.....just for one purpose....just want you to be happy thats all.....nothing much i ask for....it may sound stupid but i really mean it..... when ever see u smile....i just feel damm happy..... anyway just one thing....i really hope that....i could just shout it out loud.....once for all and close this topic....and keep it safely in my heart....forever....n continue....with what i think is best....and do the best for it.....and just remain it till the day i got the answer then i will plan what to do.....


for now...i am only able to continue.....predict and seek for the answer.....anyway when the times come it will come.....and if it really come i don't think i can run......and i also feel like shout out loud how much i miss....and how much i care towards the sea....n hope the sea would bring my msg to you......cause i do not dare to tell or msg to someone....that i really really care......♥

Wonder why it is so miracle.....

I was so bored on playing my games... So I was so boring till... I got nothing to do... I spent time looking back on all the things... that had happen... few months... back... I was actually laughing and smiling to myself.... When.. I go through all the things... I really feel so... funny.. and happy.... never know that... since this happen I was so happy... anyway... I was thinking..... how miracle....things can happen.... how miracle.... it...was.... two stranger can meet up and turn out to be friend... haha.... it is so miracle and... fated I guess....

Do you believe it....things happen just like a flash.... If I did not go through.... all this message, status and comment... I never know that....things happen so fast.....wahaha... it is.....looking at the... conversation and the status... it really make my day... cause really funny loh.... I wonder why there is so many things to say.... haha.... in this past few months I really got to admit... that.... I am really very happy and comfortable..... but I still can say that...this is how life is...things can happen.... so sudden without any notice.....

Sometimes... I really feel that... I am being bless all the times...because... lot of things happen... just in time.... I do not know whether I am lucky or what... because... when my life in.. trouble... there is always people would come in... to make my life.... joyful again.... haha... maybe god really love me... that's why I say why it is so miracle.... haha.... The best part in life now is... because... I really feeling so enjoy... no matter what...

Sometimes... I do feel emo... but when... I think of...the few of them... it really make my day wonderful.....haha... this few day I was.. thinking... I hate the feeling when I really care... because..... I know nothing much I can do for them... but they have done a lots for me..... anyway... the only thing I can do is treat them better.....anyway... just want to say I really appreciate so much......

Anyway.... just want to say I do not why I have a very special feeling where by... I really stuck for so long... if you ask me..... I do not even know how... to explain it....but only one word can say... it really give me... a very different feeling... but it is not..... lover feeling..... but is just a very.... special feeling..... where by I totally don't know how to explain it at all......maybe this is the specialty.... I guess.... anyway...as I say... I will let it be as it is.... cause... I think it is... just a miracle that is happening in my life.... haha.... but I really got to admit...one thing..... looking at all the things... the only things I can say is happy...... that's all I can say.... haha..... anyway.... it really so hard to believe.. when... things happen just like flash.... haha.....

Should not be....

It had been really weird..... I have not have this feeling for so long why suddenly... I have this feeling....I hope I will not be like last time.... being... I do not want to turn back... like what I use to be..... I notice I have been feeling very emo... for the past 2 days.... I hate this feeling..... I start to can't fall asleep... and all kind of stupid things too.... what the hell.....

Maybe it is time... to slowly.... get myself out from this.... bloody situation.... I need to slowly give less.... and slowly... by slowly everyday.... don't care.... because.... I realize that... I am losing..... don't know is my problem or what...maybe the less I give the less I would feel hurt... I am once again badly injured again this time.... all I need is time to heal... my injury...I have discover.... that the answer is so obvious....the answer lead me to clearly understand.... that..... what I have thought earlier... is true.... cause slowly by slowly....all this is.. happening..... Just thought that... god like to play joke on people.....

From the moment I woke up today... this strong feeling is keep on appearing in my... mind... till now I am writing this blog... it is... still appearing... what ever it is....I have made a mistake.... but sometimes... I just wonder give to much is a wrong... or what... ??? anyway... I don't know how long would this emo.... going to be with me once again..... whatever it is... I just want to say that.... in this world... when you wish for something it will never ever happen... it will just make you suffer rather then give you what you want.....