It had been long i did not write a blog.... once i write blog...... It always not a good thing... because bad thing happen again.... to me.... actually this blog was wrote... for 2 person....haha...... seriously..... I am tired of explain everything over and over again...... I do not know maybe i am the one in wrong..... I don't know why things turn out to be this way..... i am just wondering... maybe it was my problem.... i do not know how to start......
Anyway... I would just start of with the first... friend which I care the most.... but I do not know why she keep on misunderstand me.... i am just being curious..... seriously i do not know how to solve it....I have already.... clarify... but ended up it go back to the same problem again and again...... I treat her good the only intention... is because i care this friendship so much.... but it ended up to me a misunderstand..... I wonder cherish a friendship it's wrong... being good to friend it's good??? i am just wondering this particular question over and over again..... if being good to a friend..... or concern... friend means that... i wanna to date... the friends...... if in this case..... that's mean i am very busy loh.... cause I am busy dating with all my other friends... too......anyway i have already say that..... I treat you good and concern you is because.... I care a lot about this friendship..... but i do not know why it always ended up to be.... a misunderstand......maybe having a face like a guy..... cut hair short is a criminal....that's why make so much thing to happen....... i don't know how many time I wanna say..... I am tired of explain.... things that you worry about.... it would not happen for sure... because... it is totally not impossible......If i really have that intention to date you... I do not need to wait till today......i would done it earlier..... I really only treat you as a good friend...... best friend.... special friend.....and close friend...... Seriously.... friend if you really have doubt..... or any barrier... you can always just ask me........ I really do not want you my friend to have any barrier or doubt..... on me.... If you think the way I treat you make you feel any misunderstand.... I would just stop... or if you feel that... I am causing you any trouble..... I would just disappear...... anyway.... i hope that..... if you are not sure of anything... or what ever you can just ask me..... as I say this friendship is important to me.... so I would wanna clear your doubt and carry on with this friendship...... but decision is still yours.....
The second person..... I know you not very long...... I do not know what make you think so.... and said that.... kind .... of things..... but i just wanna say that... If you really think so.... and I make you have such feeling then.... I say sorry to you...... because I do not have such intention..... once again.... I am being misunderstand...... again .....but is just being misunderstand on a different situation...... I treat you as a friend..... but you think that.... i make you as a tool..... do you know how hurt it is when.... i regard you as a friend...... btw..... i do not want to explain anymore.... cause..... i find it hurt when i try to explain every single thing......anyway friend..... i really do not want to say anything else anymore..... just wanna clarify once more..... I do not have any intention as what you think.......
To the both of you..... if you still have doubt.... on anything... or you wanna ask anything...I would tell.....but stop simply think....I am really tired of being misunderstand....... Do you guys know how hurt it is... when a person truly..... care concern and regard someone as a friend.... but in the end it is being... misunderstand.... and being think as such a person??? anyway... if the both of you think I cause so many trouble.... just tell me I would just disappear...... from both of your sight.... i would not give any problem to the both of you...... anymore....... I am really tired of explain and explain... worried and worried......
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
haha...funny.....
This few day lots of things happen..... I do not know what to say... the only things is I wanna say... who ever please don't assume anything... or conclude anything... on my status..... who ever.... and for those... who think they really understand me...... you all can just get of my side.... cause non of you will understand me..... thank you.... yes i like to shut up the door so what..... this is me... what can you all do to me.....nothing.... if i think I want to tell... I would just tell...... anyway.... don't ever ever try do anything.... I would not be thankful...... cause I don't need any of yours help... I can settle my own problem........BTW i am human.... I got feeling de..... so I won'd be happy everyday.... sometime... I will feel emo de.....anyway don;t pretend that you understand everything.....
Anyway...... I have learn a new things.... don';t bother so much.... and don't care, it will make me feel better.... the most important thing is.... don't be the always.... i don't want to do anything..... cause I am really tired already..... just live everything.... behind...... anyway... there is one thing can't be change... that's all... I can say....anyway...... when the day I say i don't want to be the always.... then I will do as what I say......
anyway... this few day.... i have not been stop laughing..... wakaka.... really happy loh....... cause when with this group if friend they really make me feel less stress..... they only make me laugh non stop....wakaka.... happy loh.... nothing to say beside happy......BTW there is one thing I wanna say..... the feeling is totally weird... nothing else just weird.... because I feel the strange..... of all the things...... anyway...... I have do what I want to do...... if don't appreciate it... then everything will have a full stop......
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Lots of things in my mind.....
I am wondering.... what am I doing and what I suppose to do actually.... sometimes... I just hope that... I am able to know what is on mind... and what is on heart... haiz again n again....maybe i am just nobody.....cause i am just like the tiny little.....person throughout the million.......thats y my existence is only exist when throughout the million u capture me suddenly....maybe i think to highly of myself......because till now i can never ever.....hv a place that is meant to be just for me......even just a little....
sometime just feel that maybe from the beginning i do not exist....or i shd say i am just nothing.....thats y never ever hv place....in heart or mind.....now i really do not dare to make any judgement.....or any choice.....because....i really scared....that i would fail....n the most important thing is i scared i might lost it....too.....seriously......i am in a T～junction now....no matter which road i choose i will still be wrong......but the only thing i can say is.....the power was so strong just a word.....or a sentence.....it can make me do anything without having a thought.....maybe you don't remember....but every little....part....it mean to me....
if i have a chance....i hope that i am able to show you one thing.....just one thing.....but i do not hv the courage to do so..... maybe i am the biggest fool in this world....cause i want to ask but i don't even dare to do so.....i only could just.....silently do everything...and try to make everything perfect....try to make happy...and what ever i could do.....just for one purpose....just want you to be happy thats all.....nothing much i ask for....it may sound stupid but i really mean it..... when ever see u smile....i just feel damm happy..... anyway just one thing....i really hope that....i could just shout it out loud.....once for all and close this topic....and keep it safely in my heart....forever....n continue....with what i think is best....and do the best for it.....and just remain it till the day i got the answer then i will plan what to do.....
for now...i am only able to continue.....predict and seek for the answer.....anyway when the times come it will come.....and if it really come i don't think i can run......and i also feel like shout out loud how much i miss....and how much i care towards the sea....n hope the sea would bring my msg to you......cause i do not dare to tell or msg to someone....that i really really care......♥
sometime just feel that maybe from the beginning i do not exist....or i shd say i am just nothing.....thats y never ever hv place....in heart or mind.....now i really do not dare to make any judgement.....or any choice.....because....i really scared....that i would fail....n the most important thing is i scared i might lost it....too.....seriously......i am in a T～junction now....no matter which road i choose i will still be wrong......but the only thing i can say is.....the power was so strong just a word.....or a sentence.....it can make me do anything without having a thought.....maybe you don't remember....but every little....part....it mean to me....
if i have a chance....i hope that i am able to show you one thing.....just one thing.....but i do not hv the courage to do so..... maybe i am the biggest fool in this world....cause i want to ask but i don't even dare to do so.....i only could just.....silently do everything...and try to make everything perfect....try to make happy...and what ever i could do.....just for one purpose....just want you to be happy thats all.....nothing much i ask for....it may sound stupid but i really mean it..... when ever see u smile....i just feel damm happy..... anyway just one thing....i really hope that....i could just shout it out loud.....once for all and close this topic....and keep it safely in my heart....forever....n continue....with what i think is best....and do the best for it.....and just remain it till the day i got the answer then i will plan what to do.....
for now...i am only able to continue.....predict and seek for the answer.....anyway when the times come it will come.....and if it really come i don't think i can run......and i also feel like shout out loud how much i miss....and how much i care towards the sea....n hope the sea would bring my msg to you......cause i do not dare to tell or msg to someone....that i really really care......♥
Friday, April 13, 2012
Wonder why it is so miracle.....
I was so bored on playing my games... So I was so boring till... I got nothing to do... I spent time looking back on all the things... that had happen... few months... back... I was actually laughing and smiling to myself.... When.. I go through all the things... I really feel so... funny.. and happy.... never know that... since this happen I was so happy... anyway... I was thinking..... how miracle....things can happen.... how miracle.... it...was.... two stranger can meet up and turn out to be friend... haha.... it is so miracle and... fated I guess....
Do you believe it....things happen just like a flash.... If I did not go through.... all this message, status and comment... I never know that....things happen so fast.....wahaha... it is.....looking at the... conversation and the status... it really make my day... cause really funny loh.... I wonder why there is so many things to say.... haha.... in this past few months I really got to admit... that.... I am really very happy and comfortable..... but I still can say that...this is how life is...things can happen.... so sudden without any notice.....
Sometimes... I really feel that... I am being bless all the times...because... lot of things happen... just in time.... I do not know whether I am lucky or what... because... when my life in.. trouble... there is always people would come in... to make my life.... joyful again.... haha... maybe god really love me... that's why I say why it is so miracle.... haha.... The best part in life now is... because... I really feeling so enjoy... no matter what...
Sometimes... I do feel emo... but when... I think of...the few of them... it really make my day wonderful.....haha... this few day I was.. thinking... I hate the feeling when I really care... because..... I know nothing much I can do for them... but they have done a lots for me..... anyway... the only thing I can do is treat them better.....anyway... just want to say I really appreciate so much......
Anyway.... just want to say I do not why I have a very special feeling where by... I really stuck for so long... if you ask me..... I do not even know how... to explain it....but only one word can say... it really give me... a very different feeling... but it is not..... lover feeling..... but is just a very.... special feeling..... where by I totally don't know how to explain it at all......maybe this is the specialty.... I guess.... anyway...as I say... I will let it be as it is.... cause... I think it is... just a miracle that is happening in my life.... haha.... but I really got to admit...one thing..... looking at all the things... the only things I can say is happy...... that's all I can say.... haha..... anyway.... it really so hard to believe.. when... things happen just like flash.... haha.....
Do you believe it....things happen just like a flash.... If I did not go through.... all this message, status and comment... I never know that....things happen so fast.....wahaha... it is.....looking at the... conversation and the status... it really make my day... cause really funny loh.... I wonder why there is so many things to say.... haha.... in this past few months I really got to admit... that.... I am really very happy and comfortable..... but I still can say that...this is how life is...things can happen.... so sudden without any notice.....
Sometimes... I really feel that... I am being bless all the times...because... lot of things happen... just in time.... I do not know whether I am lucky or what... because... when my life in.. trouble... there is always people would come in... to make my life.... joyful again.... haha... maybe god really love me... that's why I say why it is so miracle.... haha.... The best part in life now is... because... I really feeling so enjoy... no matter what...
Sometimes... I do feel emo... but when... I think of...the few of them... it really make my day wonderful.....haha... this few day I was.. thinking... I hate the feeling when I really care... because..... I know nothing much I can do for them... but they have done a lots for me..... anyway... the only thing I can do is treat them better.....anyway... just want to say I really appreciate so much......
Anyway.... just want to say I do not why I have a very special feeling where by... I really stuck for so long... if you ask me..... I do not even know how... to explain it....but only one word can say... it really give me... a very different feeling... but it is not..... lover feeling..... but is just a very.... special feeling..... where by I totally don't know how to explain it at all......maybe this is the specialty.... I guess.... anyway...as I say... I will let it be as it is.... cause... I think it is... just a miracle that is happening in my life.... haha.... but I really got to admit...one thing..... looking at all the things... the only things I can say is happy...... that's all I can say.... haha..... anyway.... it really so hard to believe.. when... things happen just like flash.... haha.....
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Should not be....
It had been really weird..... I have not have this feeling for so long why suddenly... I have this feeling....I hope I will not be like last time.... being... I do not want to turn back... like what I use to be..... I notice I have been feeling very emo... for the past 2 days.... I hate this feeling..... I start to can't fall asleep... and all kind of stupid things too.... what the hell.....
Maybe it is time... to slowly.... get myself out from this.... bloody situation.... I need to slowly give less.... and slowly... by slowly everyday.... don't care.... because.... I realize that... I am losing..... don't know is my problem or what...maybe the less I give the less I would feel hurt... I am once again badly injured again this time.... all I need is time to heal... my injury...I have discover.... that the answer is so obvious....the answer lead me to clearly understand.... that..... what I have thought earlier... is true.... cause slowly by slowly....all this is.. happening..... Just thought that... god like to play joke on people.....
From the moment I woke up today... this strong feeling is keep on appearing in my... mind... till now I am writing this blog... it is... still appearing... what ever it is....I have made a mistake.... but sometimes... I just wonder give to much is a wrong... or what... ??? anyway... I don't know how long would this emo.... going to be with me once again..... whatever it is... I just want to say that.... in this world... when you wish for something it will never ever happen... it will just make you suffer rather then give you what you want.....
Maybe it is time... to slowly.... get myself out from this.... bloody situation.... I need to slowly give less.... and slowly... by slowly everyday.... don't care.... because.... I realize that... I am losing..... don't know is my problem or what...maybe the less I give the less I would feel hurt... I am once again badly injured again this time.... all I need is time to heal... my injury...I have discover.... that the answer is so obvious....the answer lead me to clearly understand.... that..... what I have thought earlier... is true.... cause slowly by slowly....all this is.. happening..... Just thought that... god like to play joke on people.....
From the moment I woke up today... this strong feeling is keep on appearing in my... mind... till now I am writing this blog... it is... still appearing... what ever it is....I have made a mistake.... but sometimes... I just wonder give to much is a wrong... or what... ??? anyway... I don't know how long would this emo.... going to be with me once again..... whatever it is... I just want to say that.... in this world... when you wish for something it will never ever happen... it will just make you suffer rather then give you what you want.....
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Just Blog....
Haha... finally tonight I got time to do my blog..... haiz.. the past few day I was so busy till I do not even have time for my own... because went I got home from work I am so tired till I even lazy to on my lappy.....Since... today is weekend so I decided to... update my blog...... Lately so many things had happen... lots of funny things... sad things.... and happy things... of course.....
Sad things... is I have hurt a good guy for one reason... because... I am not ready to accept... a relationship... since I prefer to be alone.... haha... cause I do not want stress..... I feel that... my life is already so stress..... so for the time being.... I just don't want any stress.... so I decided to reject him...... maybe after... I have solve all the matter I would accept.... haha.. all depends....on fate ba....
Sometimes... I wonder what got into me... I find myself become so stupid this few day... and blur.... just wonder what the hell wrong with me....haiz.. maybe I am under to much stress... haha.....such a normal... things... I could not even... do... haiz.... something really wrong with me... don't know whether is because I am lazy or.... I am just being stupid..... I hope that I am stupid not lazy....don't know lah I feel that I am craping for no reason.... haha
What ever it.. is just hope that.... it would just... over as fast as possible..... cause I really feeling annoying with that... bloody idiot person...... never seen such a person.... like this for.... haiz... and I hope that.... my wish could come true... too.... cause I have been waiting... for my one and only wish... haha.... hopefully it won't disappoint me.... haha.... If my wish come true... I guess I would be the most luckiest person... and bless... haha... but no matter what... I am working.. on it to.... need lost of hardwork loh.... anyway.... I hope that.. my hard work would help me... haha....
Anyway.... as usual I miss all my friends.... haha.... this is the things for sure de wahaha....anyway... just hope that they would be happy always.... and forever bless with lots of love... haha.....Miss you guys so much..... anyway... crap to much... time to stop... if not this blog would.. be to long... and all rubbish.... wakaka.... May god bless all of you... and my entire family.... haha....
Sad things... is I have hurt a good guy for one reason... because... I am not ready to accept... a relationship... since I prefer to be alone.... haha... cause I do not want stress..... I feel that... my life is already so stress..... so for the time being.... I just don't want any stress.... so I decided to reject him...... maybe after... I have solve all the matter I would accept.... haha.. all depends....on fate ba....
Sometimes... I wonder what got into me... I find myself become so stupid this few day... and blur.... just wonder what the hell wrong with me....haiz.. maybe I am under to much stress... haha.....such a normal... things... I could not even... do... haiz.... something really wrong with me... don't know whether is because I am lazy or.... I am just being stupid..... I hope that I am stupid not lazy....don't know lah I feel that I am craping for no reason.... haha
What ever it.. is just hope that.... it would just... over as fast as possible..... cause I really feeling annoying with that... bloody idiot person...... never seen such a person.... like this for.... haiz... and I hope that.... my wish could come true... too.... cause I have been waiting... for my one and only wish... haha.... hopefully it won't disappoint me.... haha.... If my wish come true... I guess I would be the most luckiest person... and bless... haha... but no matter what... I am working.. on it to.... need lost of hardwork loh.... anyway.... I hope that.. my hard work would help me... haha....
Anyway.... as usual I miss all my friends.... haha.... this is the things for sure de wahaha....anyway... just hope that they would be happy always.... and forever bless with lots of love... haha.....Miss you guys so much..... anyway... crap to much... time to stop... if not this blog would.. be to long... and all rubbish.... wakaka.... May god bless all of you... and my entire family.... haha....
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Slow weekend.....
I wonder this... week... the time has pass by so slowly..... I wonder... how come so slow... it is like damm hard to go through.....actually I am very busy but... how come the time goes by so slow.... everyday... as usual need to work... and need to study.... suppose it goeas by fast but this week the time really slow... haiz.. just don't understand....why???
I realize that... my life now is working... and studying.... what the hell... begin to realize that I do not have much time for myself....the only time I have for myself is only weekend.... but this weekend... totally don't have... cause this week I also got work... haha...tomorrow sunday also need to work... haiz.... I guess only for this week...after this week maybe next week I want to plan on a trip..... cause I realize that...for almost... few months I did not go for a trip... already... suppose to go Melake this week but I was so busy so the trip is cancel... haiz So I guess next week I am going on a trip.... wahaha....
Sometime.... I wonder how am I able to cope with this working and studying life.... OMG I have been very stress recently......haiz..... and i realize that... I am so stupid...... I have been studying... the stupid subject for days... but I still can't solve this stupid... question... Just a very simple question....till now I still not yet done... haiz... I am really so stupid..... My friend say to me I am not stupid.. is just that... I am lazy don't want to do that's why....I also don't know lah.... I just hope that... I can't settle..... my homework... before more to come... and the few other subject... I want to finish at least one chapter for each subject.... argh... looks like it is so hard but I have no choice.... I am wasting to much time on... this diploma... haiz.... anyway... I a going to work for it.... wahaha....
Yesterday I have been asking myself one very weird question... but I do not know what I should do... haiz.... anyway..... since I don't know what to do... so I just leave it as it is.... haha... but one things I am comfirm is.... I am missing someone..... for the next week too.... and I am also missing my friends that study in KL... haiz... and I am waiting for my another friends to come back from KL... haiz.... just miss all of them.... but of course I really damm miss my pig head sister.. cause I really don't know when she will come back... haiz...... anyway.... I really damm miss them...... :((
If I have the chance.....I want to do something really stupid... haiz.... but I scared to do so.... anyway.... god ls bless them ....with lots of love.....
I realize that... my life now is working... and studying.... what the hell... begin to realize that I do not have much time for myself....the only time I have for myself is only weekend.... but this weekend... totally don't have... cause this week I also got work... haha...tomorrow sunday also need to work... haiz.... I guess only for this week...after this week maybe next week I want to plan on a trip..... cause I realize that...for almost... few months I did not go for a trip... already... suppose to go Melake this week but I was so busy so the trip is cancel... haiz So I guess next week I am going on a trip.... wahaha....
Sometime.... I wonder how am I able to cope with this working and studying life.... OMG I have been very stress recently......haiz..... and i realize that... I am so stupid...... I have been studying... the stupid subject for days... but I still can't solve this stupid... question... Just a very simple question....till now I still not yet done... haiz... I am really so stupid..... My friend say to me I am not stupid.. is just that... I am lazy don't want to do that's why....I also don't know lah.... I just hope that... I can't settle..... my homework... before more to come... and the few other subject... I want to finish at least one chapter for each subject.... argh... looks like it is so hard but I have no choice.... I am wasting to much time on... this diploma... haiz.... anyway... I a going to work for it.... wahaha....
Yesterday I have been asking myself one very weird question... but I do not know what I should do... haiz.... anyway..... since I don't know what to do... so I just leave it as it is.... haha... but one things I am comfirm is.... I am missing someone..... for the next week too.... and I am also missing my friends that study in KL... haiz... and I am waiting for my another friends to come back from KL... haiz.... just miss all of them.... but of course I really damm miss my pig head sister.. cause I really don't know when she will come back... haiz...... anyway.... I really damm miss them...... :((
If I have the chance.....I want to do something really stupid... haiz.... but I scared to do so.... anyway.... god ls bless them ....with lots of love.....
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