Haha feel so... happy... and ease.....

Last few day I have been... irritate by one very stupid things... but lucky things... I have the few... of my friends they to... give me support.... If not I think I might be jumping in to the same shit again... haha... anyway... finally everything is come to an end.... haha so happy.... lucky thing.... the few of them were they for me..... haha... because of them I had a great weekend... because..... when I with them... i really feel no worry.. and I am always happy.... haha....anyway i really need to say that... this few people is really important to me.... because they really make my life... so cheerful...and colorful... and the most important is they really brighten.... up my life... haha... anyway thanks so much.... anyway... I can say that... let this continue on and on..... anyway... i had found something... more important..... haha... so i will just had to carry on... and do what I suppose to do......

I had not being so happy since then... haha anyway.... I am feeling comfortable.... and always happy and no worry now..... I like the feeling I am having now... Btw... there is one things... I am damm happy is... I never realize it could be that fast.... it is just happen like a flash....it was real fast..... the feeling is like it is suppose to be this way...... Haha when i think back... i realize that...all the things happen with it on reason......and when i think back all the things... I will just laugh like a dumb dumb person.... sometimes I feel that... I am sot... but this sit is with a valid reason.... is something really happening....and it is real.... and yet i am not dreaming... haha....lots... of things.. is not possible... had become possible....anyway... this it's.... haha....

People tell me this is fate.. now I really believe it.... and they ask me to be thankful of what i had...haha ... I not only need to be thankful i also need to appreciate... it to because... not everyone can be as lucky as me.... haha.....anywya...thanks for being there... always... to all of you....

Whatever....

Who ever want to blame.... just blame... I am doing what I am suppose to do.... If you all think so go ahead and think it that way.....I would not do anything.. or explain anything..... In this world being a good person... what I got... Do you think people would that you for it... instead being thanks... people... blame everything on you.... what the hell....What do I get... I was thinking... now... people blame it on me... then I wanna ask when I am hurt... who is the one who..... Concern me.... why now I need to... take the bloody initiative to concern you or look at you....You say to me... what no matter what... I do nothing will change... then what is the reason you are doing this.... Do you think that it would change anything..... sometime I just wonder are you sick... or you are crazy.... I guess maybe you should need to consult doctor.... because i really think that you are sick....By the way... no matter what you do it would not change anything.... and i want to say to you... please don't be an idiot... you think the things... you do I would feel anything.... seriously... I would not... i tell you i would not kelian you... don't ever think that... I would be like last time.... I am not the old WONG JOYCE LYN.....Btw just wanna let you know... I am not like you.... the love I gave is not an investment....I am not you... btw... just wanna say that.... I won't betray... myself to do such cheap... things.... all the thing that you have done... I already... now......I just want to live my life... and I do not want anything to related to you.... So if your family want to blame me for all this bloody annoying stuff go ahead.....I won't bother..... because.... if the people who know me... they would know the reason why... I would.... do such things... to you.... btw thanks because I have learn a great lesson from you....

Guess Guess and Guess.....

Don't ask me... why this is not the way it should be..... being.... in this situation.... is not my wish..... what ever it is... I am facing the reality... of everything.... because... whatever things... I see is beyond what I know.... guessing a person thinking... and want to know what people thinking is the hardest thing especially those who know how to hide and they know what you are up to to..... but what ever it is... all I need is time.... I am sure that... one day I would be able to guess.... what is people thinking about... and I think I am able to see through.... it.... At this point of time... I am just lack of the....knowledge.... on this.. anyway... what I need is time... BTW with my friend.... help...just now... I guess... I may be able to puzzle out... soon.... not the only things I need to do is..... gather everything and sort it out..... then I am able to get the answer soon....

Sometimes... I realize things is so complicated... it make you..... go bang wall... if you.... Sort it out wrongly.... this afternoon.. when I chat with my friend and she say... that... why it is so hard to guess... and why it is so complicated.... to know... haha the only things..... I say is .... it is so easy... I won't be in this trouble..... I would have solve it... on my own....haha..... sometimes.... I would want to ask that... whether knowing the truth behind everything is the best things to do... or just ignore it... which is better... and what is the best things to do.... ??? I wonder if I can puzzle it out.. it would be a good things for me... but... what if it is.... not a good news... if you puzzle out the things.... haiz

Can anyone tell me... what is true... ??? If a person is true..... what he or she will do???? If cares... and concern..... What he or she will do ???? If a person... is important to you... what will he or she do ???? If a person..... that you appreciate a lot what he or she will do ??? If a person... is the reason you are happy what he or she will do ???? If a person.... means everything to you... what he or she will do ??? What if two person... know how each other feeling what he or she will do???? I am really wondering... what people would do... haiz... this question was being ask by my friend......

Haiz... I am wondering.... from all this... am I able to puzzle out the answer... behind all this... and think what is the next step to do..... Sometimes... why people are so... complicated..... why got a straight... road they do not want to walk on this straight.. road...... why they always like to walk on the..... road that are... hard to walk... and there is lots... of barrier... why???? Sometimes ... I feel that.. huaman are very funny... know that..... ahead the road... is a hole... but why still jump in??? what is this.... haiz... I really don't know what it is so hard to understand...... Haiz... if I can get the answer from behind all this things... then puzzle out this... would be very simple.... as ABC.... what ever it is... I am trying to get it right... before... I am in deep shit again... because... I have notice... feel things... which... I think... if I don't get it right... I would suffer from it.... because... sifu tell me somethings... which.. make me think of something....anyway..... as for other things... let the god plan it for me... because... nothing much I can do... if it is not suppose to be that way.... haha... I believe in what I see and I believe in what I know.... what the hell I am writing.... anyway... if I can... puzzle is out.. then is good... but if can't then... let it be... as it is.... haha.....

Finally... today I got the mood to write my blog......

It is like two week I did not write any blog... haha... I finally have the time to write my blog today.... Actually not I do not have time to write... is just that I shift....my blog to a mini diary.... in my phone.... haha.....The reason I do this is because... I want to have a private... space for myself... In fact I like the... Mini Diary so much... because I can just write anything I want...I love it because I can upload all the photo i have took and straight away I can just write the things I want to say... and of course... the diary is only for certain things... which is important to me....and it is precious for me... which I do not want to forget... for the rest of my life.... haha.... I am glad that... there is such an application for me..... anyway... in this diary is all my precious memory.....with a person.... haha anyway...the mini diary is only for a person... haha

That day we had a family gathering... at Aunty Lim... Cafe... I guess nobody know I am so ahppy with that gathering... and the most important things is my xiao yi say that...they will organize this more often.... I am happy because... though we stay around JB area... but the time we meet up is so little...at least with this... gathering... it can bring all of us together... haha..... anyway that day I am happy that we had a chance to sit together...with all my uncle, aunty and cousin....normally when we...had the chance is only during chinese new year.... haiz what a shame... haiz... but anyway since they say that... we will ahve this gathering more.... it is really a good idea.... haha... anyway I really happy...haha

Do you know sometime I wanted to say how much I love you all but I just do not know how to say... but the only thing I can say is... I am a lucky person in this world... because.... I have a very lovely family..... and lovely friends.... around me all the time....haha.... anyway just wanna say that.... thanks for being my family and friends....

The force.... was strong.... can't believe it....

All the while I do not believe it..... haiz... but now I really got to admit it... I was totally wrong... what ever it is.. the force and the power was so strong.... I do not know what is happening... and what is going on... the only thing I believe is.... all this is fate.... sometime when sit back and think back it is all so sudden.... haiz maybe this is what we call when a door close up in other hand... but the other door is opening without any notice in another hand.......when I spend time thinking on the things happening around me... it make me feel so happy but some of the time.. make me... feel... sad too... but most of the things... make me feel so... happy and... I got to admit it..... for a very long time I did not smile and laugh... like now.....maybe in this world.... fate really exists..... wahaha....

The force and the power really make me do lots... of impossible things.... I really got shock when I realize it..... it was amazing when... I ask myself... why am I able to that.... after a little while I start.. laughing.. and smiling all the way.... and I will ask myself.. am I nuts... because I would just start.... laughing and smiling out of sudden.... but what ever it is.....I got to thank God... for arranging.... and open up my door wants again....wahaha....... nothing more I can say beside... laughing and laughing.... smiling and smiling... because... I do not know how to say what to say... because this type of happy... I have lost it... few years ago....But I do not know how long this would be... the only things I would want to say is... as long as I am able too... I want this to go on and on forever.....anyway... I am really happy....DO YOU ALL KNOW.....????

Anyway... I hope that... I have the ability... and the key...... to keep this going and I hope that... I am able to... open up the door that..... it has been close for very long too.... BTW I am happy ..... and I hope that I am able to do so too.....

If you are mind you will be mine....

God how i wish now there is someone would appear in my life.... too guide me...advise me....teach me.....tell me what is wrong n what is right..... n help me make decision on certain things.....T^T maybe i TTM. for this bcoz it is impossible...but I really struggling now on lots of things .....anyway hope everything would be better...

I am hoping that this would come true... because... I am waiting for this person....I feel it but... I am not sure... maybe because.....I ignore it... or maybe because I dare not ask.... and dare not tell.... I feel lots of things... but in the mean time... I ignore it too... what the hell... I feel that.. I am loser.... I know it is near... but I stop.... because... as usual I scared I will lost or fall.... haha.... anyway.... maybe.....I ignore... and I act like nothing happen is still the best... because.... not everything got to say clearly.... being stupid.. is the best things..... maybe this is the best.....

Anyway...your one word or sentence... is still better than their.... long winded sentence..... If you understand me you will get it...and you will know it... Someone tell me she know it..... but the both of us acted... stupid... and don't want to say it out.... haha... just hope that... it is really like this... if not... the only things... I can say is the god is joking with me..... haha.....anyway... what ever it is...if you belong to me... I do not need to anything...you will be mine.... wahaha.... let everything go on the flow... and do what I want to do... and as long as I know I am not doing the right thing is enough.... haha... because I believe that the gods already plan for me and you.... so I will just wait for the outcome......MY friend puzzle out the things happen and everything regarding the both of us ......but only one world I said.... don't tell me the answer the answer... because... I want it to be secret.... because.... I like the feeling now.... and as far as I know that... I do not do any prediction..... because through this way... I won't feel afraid....of anything.....I can just be myself.... haha.....

people ask me what is the prediction... of this...... Seriously... I do not have the answer... because.... I am using a very sincere heart to.... look at this matter....because I know that.... I won't get hurt... because I have confidence that.... I won't get hurt..... but I will feel sad..... sometime..... I realize that... my door is being open.... already.... I am no longer shut my door up... like last time......through out so many things happen this time... is the only time that.... I am able to....just leave without fear...what ever it is... I feel easy and comfortable... all the time......haha... what ever it is...... at the this time... I do not need to do anything..... because if you are belong to me... I do not need to do anything....because... I do not do anything... you will be mine no matter what..... haha.... so I am waiting for the.... outcome...... god bless......The god know what is the best for me... and the god already got the plan for me... haha..... everything let it go on fate......

what the hack....

Do I look like a kid??? why everyone... say I look like a kid....I do not get it... and the problem is they say...due to certain thing.. and certain... situation I look like a kid and especially in front of my parent and those people who dote me....... what the hack... I totally don't know what to say....did I ??? seriously... IDK.... whatever...as long as I don't think so.... haiz.... it is not bothering... me anyway... haha....

Haiz exam is near.... but till now I still don't know what the hack I am doing...?? I am still going out yum cha and gai gai ... and everyday play non stop....like nobody... business...why I am like out of control.... even me myself also don't know why... I am like that.... I feel strange.... but I don't know what is the reason.... haiz...I just could not concentrate... on my study....what can I do....?? someone say to me the reason I could not concentrate.... is because... nobody push me.. and no one is beside me..... scolding me... walau... when I heard this..... I say please... lah... I hate being.... restricted.... and being force to do things.... and the worse is... someone... say that... wanna take away my laptop... and forbid me to go online.... and she say to me..... ask me to sleep early... and say to me... please don't go out late at night.... and the best is don't go out.... wahaha.... funny loh... don't think.... that... I will listen to what you say... and don't try to .. ask me to email..... you my daily.... time table to you.... and don't ever ever think that... I would... make a time table.....thank you....

Do you possible think that I would listen to... the things... you said.... now haha the only thing I can say is you think to much... haha.....and please stop checking on me...... Don't think that.... I don't know you ask... san jie to check on my.. thing..... I am not stupid.....If want to check on me... please do it a brilliant way thank you.... don't let me find out.... BTW for your information... I hide her on FB... too so you will know nothing... from now onwards....you know I hate... people check on me....and know..... don't ever think that..... I still scared of you like last time..... kkk...

Please don't act that... you understand me very well....being my sister...you know nothing loh... you do not know what I want loh....so don't tell me... how much you care how much you love me.... to me all is rubbish...because.... anyone... have the right to say.... that but for sure is not you... because you do not know.....you only know how to... force me.. with the things you want.... anyway...I will listen.. but does not me..... I would follow....anyway..... I do not want to say more... because... what ever I say ... you would not..... listen.... so I rather not say....

This time... i seriously very hurt....

I do not know why... my tears suddenly drops..... I really could not control it any more.... How I wish I could know what is happening... and what went wrong..... I really cherish this.... friendship so much....that is why... I get so frustrated... and sad.... and my temper is being so hot... this few day..... Every friendship is important to me... but... now I realize that... our friendship..... is even 100 times more important to me.....I really do not know what more I can do....

I just want to say that... I really cherish this friendship so much.... no matter what... I can only say that... If there is any misunderstanding...... or what... I am very very sorry..... I do not know what more I can do... because... I really care about you.... but what ever it is... my care and concern is only being a friend.....I do not know how you think.... but... I really feeling sad because of your ignorance.... any way... just want to tell you that... what ever it is.... this friendship is important to me.....nothing more I can say at this time..... the only thing I can say is sorry.... I do not know what can do... at this time... the only things I can say is thanks for being my friend..... I will remember you... as one of my very good friend... thank you....