i really don't know wht to do...........i am really tired of this i can take it anymore..........i am going to crazy soon

Everyone have a family,
I have a family too,
But went i look at other people family,
I feel so warmth,
But why when i look at my family,
I feel so unhappy,
Everyone can have a nice chat with their parent,
Why my parent can’t...................
when i was young that time,
how much u love me,
how u take care of me,
how much u love me n dote me......
i will never forget.
But that was how long ago i can't remember already,
can anyone tell me when was the last time u kiss me,
when was last time u hold my hand.........

i am totally lost. my house is just like a hotel to me now bcoz i can't find any warm in this house........ the adult only now how to complain about us, but hv they really ask or try to understand wht we want.... they never, they only know how to say do this do that.....
as for me, now i only can see that in their heart only got my brother, i am like a visible in this house or i shd say i am a outsider, i am so lost when i feel this, but nobody understand how i feel. i know when i say this my parent will say no u r not, n they will say that is my problem not thier problem......sometime i can't understand y the adults only now how to say but they never ever try to understand, they will always think that their always right. since i when back to sunway to study they never ever ask me how was my day in collage they will always say u better get gd grade if not i got to pay money.........they only scared that if i fail they hv to pay money, they only scared of thier money, sometime i still think that whether to study is a gd thing or a bad thing, even like now sometime i try to ask help from my dad, he refuse to help me, he is smart but he just don't want to help me. n they i very gd at saying 1 word i don't know then everything settle. if my dad not educated he say don't know i still can accept, but he is well educated......... i really don't know wht i shd do.....

sometime do u really think i want to go out, haha actually i rather stay at home rather going out, but sometime i just hv no choice bcoz i just don't want to stay at home bczo if i stay at home i will 100% fight with them so to avoid this so i go out.... they always complain that i treat outside people very nice y treat then not nice, bcoz at least outside people will help me......
i am not trying to say they r not gd but the problem is now they really never try to understand wht i am thinking.... i really hope that 1 day i can find back the feeling i use to hv last time........i still remember how he kiss me every nite, how much he love me n how gd he take care of me, but now all this is only a memory it is all gone. i really feel that the dad i use to hv is gone, now every day we speak to each other is less than 10 word sometimes not even a word, bcoz if we talk we will fight, they always say is my problem, but hv they ever think y i can become like that..........

somatime i feel like just end my life so i no need to think of anything, 1day i will go crazy is bcoz of u all, wht i want is simple only, i just want more concern from u all will do.............

How i wish i have a happy family,
Do you know how i feel when,
I look at other people parent,
Do you know how much love i need,
Do you know how i feel when,
Yours eyes only have brother,
Do you know that you all are a stranger to me,
Do you know when i was bad mood i can’t even talk to you all,
Do you know a not i just want to have the family warm,
We use to have last time,
How i wish all this can come back................


Do you know how much i love you all, but sometime i jsut don't know how to say........ Do u know wht does the FAMILY word means:
Father and Mother I Love you...............